The Restoration Story of Ward and Colleen

My name is Colleen and I am 56 years old and the mother of four terrific grown children and grandmother of 10 going on 11 wonderful grandchildren.....

I was born and raised in Canada...We moved around quite often, but my parents were married 50 years and I think we had a pretty stable home life...Although I had been raised in the Church, I didn't have a personal relationship with the Lord. I had been baptized and confirmed, taught Sunday school, but didn't know the Lord. He was a far off God... I felt that the Lord was up there and I was down here and never the twain shall meet.

I met and married my dear husband Ward in Washington, D.C. when my father was transferred there with the Canadian Army....He was 20 and I was 19....My parents went back to Canada and I stayed in the states..

My husband grew up in a pretty dysfunctional family by today's standards...His mother was married four times..She was an alcoholic as was his father and all his stepfathers...He learned a lot, most of it was not
good....His religious roots were pretty sparse...

To this day I still can't say apart from God's grace how we have stayed married this long and why we got married to begin with. We are so different... We certainly didn't have any idea what real love was...

We became Christians when we were married seven years...We went through a difficult time in our marriage and the Lord used that as a catalyst to get our attention...

We had to begin to build on a new foundation, so brick by brick, we built...If a brick was flawed, the Lord would be faithful to pull it out and we would start again....

We raised our children in the Church and although we moved around quite a bit with Ward's job, life was good..We were moving forward and looking up...

We were the perfect family (or so people thought) (so I thought too) and managed to weather quite a few trials as our children grew up and started their own families....

If we could see the bricks in our foundation that have cracked, or eroded, I am sure we would make the effort to fix them, but some fractures are unnoticed until the "final break" happens and then we are left wondering...How did this happen?? We were no different...

In 2002 after 34 years of marriage Ward began an affair with a friend of mine...He left in October of 2002...I was devastated and heartbroken...I think a huge midlife crisis contributed to his downfall, but also know that we had taken our eyes off God and began walking in our own strength..

I had been a housewife and mother for 34 years at that point. We had two children before we became Christians and the Lord literally intervened and we had two more.....So there is 11 years between my oldest and my youngest...It took me 30 years to raise them and get them out on their own..So my life up until that point had been supporting everyone else, so they could fulfill God's ministry and calling for their life...I didn't consider by putting myself on the shelf, that I was neglecting what God was calling me to....It took Ward being removed from my life to realize God wants first place in each of our lives...to be our first
love. We can never put anyone or anything in that place, or it becomes an idol and God will remove it...

So now here I sat, alone and desolate....My children were wonderful and supportive, but at the end of the day I was "still alone"... I was very sick at the time Ward left and ended up having major surgery. So in
one years time, my husband left me for my friend, my son was in Iraq and Afghanistan with the 82nd airborne and I had major surgery...The Lord has never been so close as He was during that year Ward was gone....He spoke to me tenderly, urged me to move forward and when I couldn't or wouldn't he carried me..

I knew that the Lord was saying to "stand" for my marriage, but I wasn't exactly sure what "standing" meant...I would soon find out...It meant being faithful to my vows even when my husband was being unfaithful, loving him unconditionally, when I really wanted to majorally hurt him..:-) It meant forgiving and standing up for what's right, rather than what's easy...It meant leaving a legacy for my children and grandchildren to follow.....I have to say here that none of it was easy, but I knew that it would be worth it in the end....

When Ward first left, I begged, pleaded, and did everything that I knew to do to change the situation. I gave him scripture, prayed for him for hours at a time and fasted.. I was consumed with fears of what would my future be like if he chose not to come back. When he had been gone about 10 months the Lord brought me to a place of surrender....Although I knew that the Lord has asked me stand and confirmed it many ways, He was saying...How much do you love me??? Are you willing to go on with me, even if Ward doesn't go with you??? I literally had to die to myself and what I thought should be done and say..."Lord, even if it means that I have to go on without Ward, I will follow you". It was an absolute breaking of my will and I remember crying for the whole day before I could get to that point. He came back home two months later in September of 2003...

We are in the process of restoration. We both have changed for the better and we have both learned to cherish each other..I just want to encourage you that God is able to do more than we can think or ask and has a wonderful plan for each of our lives. It doesn't mean that we won't go through trial and heartache, it just means that he will bring us through the fire and we won't even have the smell of smoke on us. We will
be refined to become all he has called us to be and if we remain faithful, one day we will receive our reward if not here on earth in heaven....

The Lord gets his best soldiers out of the highlands of affliction..

Thank you for letting me share my life with you...Blessings, Colleen