The Restoration Story of Stephen and Angelique Watters

Stephen & Angelique Watters

For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce. Malachi 2:16

This is my story. The journey the Lord took me on as I stood for my marriage. The trials I went through. The tests I had to endure. How I learned to be the wife my husband needed in me. How I learned to trust in the Lord. How my husband under went an amazing transformation, and how in the end the tables were turned, and he became the stander as I became a prodigal wife. This is how it all started in the year 2003. May this testimony bring to those who read it, hope and encouragement. Above all, remember that all things are possible with God. I had always believed we had a good marriage. I never thought, not for one second, that my marriage was in any danger at all. How wrong I was….
September 3, 2003. My husband announced to me that he was leaving me. I was stunned. Shocked. In disbelief. But, I also thought that he was just upset, it would all blow over in a day or two, and all would be well. How wrong I was once again. Back track 6 months earlier. We had bought our first home together. A 100 year old Victorian with 4 bedrooms and a beautiful view of the Mississippi River. He was working a good job; I had a stable job, with 3 growing and healthy children. Our finances were finally starting to get in order, and we were doing well for ourselves. When we moved into the home, a relative of his moved in with us too. I didn’t like it from the start, but I dealt with it the best I could. (Or at least what I thought was the best at that time.) It turned into complete disaster. She and I butted heads on several occasions. I could not, would not approve of the way she was living in my house, and she could not, would not try to meet me in the middle. The almost daily clashing between her and I took a toll on Stephen. At the time, I could not see how much this was affecting him. I could only see what was bothering me and how I expected him to fix it. He had me pulling on one arm, yelling at him to do something about his sister, and his sister on his other arm, yelling at him to do something about his wife. He was caught in the middle. He wanted to be understanding of where I was coming from, but as an older, protective brother, he also wanted to make sure his sister’s needs were also taken into consideration.
I grew up in a well-to-do home. We weren’t rich, but money wasn’t a problem either. We had a small ranch in northwestern Illinois. My dad worked a very good job and my mother stayed at home with my sisters and I. I grew up with getting what I wanted, when I wanted. I never learned to be thankful for what I had. I never learned to appreciate those who meant the most to me. And that went with me into my marriage.
Stephen grew up in a home where money was tight. His mother, who loved her children so much, was gone most of the time working to support the family. His father was self-centered and abusive, only working here and there. As Stephen grew older, he became the caretaker of his two younger sisters. His bond with his sisters is one of solid steel and no one comes between them. His father was also very hard headed and stubborn. He was a “do as I say, and not as I do” type of person. Stephen took on his father’s stubbornness, hard-headedness and “I’m always right” attitude. And that went with him into our marriage.
At times, I can also be very stubborn. Most of the time, I will come to some sort of agreement and meet half way. But other times, I refuse to budge. One time, that I was stubborn and refusing to budge, came in August of 2003. I had had it up to there with his sister and she had had it with me. We all sat at the dining room table to discuss the living arrangements and how much longer she could stay. I wanted her out within 30-60 days. He was willing to let her stay with us until she would receive her tax refund-another 6 months down the road. Oh boy! He and I clashed. We argued over this. She put in her two cents, and we all left the table without anything resolved.
One day, while at work, I was talking to a co-worker about all the problems at home. (I know I should have been talking to God instead.) She advised me to tell Stephen it was me, or his sister. And that if he chose her, I was out of there. And that’s exactly what I did. I told him about how sick and tired I was of her in this house. How fed up I was with her attitude, and how if she was not gone within 30 days, that I would leave. He asked me where she would go. I said that I didn’t know, but it could not be here. I expected him to be understanding. I expected him to be on my side. How wrong I was once again. The next day he tells me we need to talk. And he told me his sister was more important to him than I was, after all, he had known her a lot longer than he knew me. So, she wins and I lose. He was leaving me because he could not be married to someone who could be so selfish.
Well, I pretty much freaked out. I didn’t know what to do. I managed to talk him into marriage counseling. But, that only lasted 2 sessions before he quit going. He pretty much changed overnight. He became somebody I did not know. His heart had turned to stone. He stopped staying at the house and would sleep at a friends place. He told his sister what I had said and she now hated me too. I was at a lost. I would try to talk to him, but he would avoid me the best he could. I tried to talk to her, but no use there either. For about 3 weeks, I barely saw my husband. He would only come home to shower and get clean clothes. Then one day, as he was sitting in his office, he announced to me that he wanted a divorce. I lost it once again and began to sob. He just sat there showing no emotion at all. I suggested a legal separation. He said no, he wanted a divorce. I begged and pleaded with him. It was like talking to a wall.
I asked him if he would give me a hug. He said ok, and we embraced. And I thought I felt him softening. I thought I felt him having second thoughts, because he held me so tight and so close to him. And then we kissed. The first physical contact we had had in at least 3 weeks. I was beginning to think that he was just confused about things, but the hug and kiss we shared would bring him back around. How wrong I was once again.
He started to withdraw again. I was scared, nervous and losing my husband. I soon found evidence of another woman in my husband’s life. Of course, I was not too keen on that idea. When I asked him about it, he said she was only a friend who he worked with and not to get myself concerned with it. But my instincts told me that she was more than a friend. One night as I was in the kitchen, Stephen’s sister comes thru the backdoor. Now, mind you, she had not been speaking to me at all, so I was very surprised when she asked for a trash bag. I said ok. She went to her room and I went to bring her a trash bag. When I looked at her, my eyes swelled with tears. I told her that I thought Stephen was cheating on me. She assured me he was not. She gave me a hug and we both talked. We both apologized for the way our attitudes had been. She moved into a new apartment soon after.
It took a little while before I had solid proof that my husband had a girlfriend. The thought was always in the back of my mind, and I searched through his things as much as I could for the evidence, but was not finding any. Then he started receiving phone calls at our home from some girl. When I would answer the phone she would have the nerve to ask me to speak to my husband. I told her that he was my husband and to back off, but in a more explicit way. Some woman was not going to steal my man from me. Stephen knew the cat was out of the bag, and he went open with his affair. And he strutted her all over the place without showing an ounce of anything being wrong.
He moved out of the home about 2 weeks later. He said he had a friend who needed a roommate and he was going to go live there. He had all his plans worked out. He was going to divorce me, sell the house and have a new life with this woman. How simple, right? How wrong he was. Things turned out to be a lot more complicated than he expected. About a week or so after he moved out, I found out that I was pregnant. I was happy to be having another baby. I guess that’s a mother thing. But I was scared about having this baby too. After all, my husband is gone, seeing another woman, demanding a divorce and having another child was not on his list of things to do.
I told him about the pregnancy the same day I had found out myself. He did not take it well. He never denied the baby could be his, since we were still sleeping together, but he did tell me to give her up for adoption. He would not be a father to her because I had “trapped” him into getting me pregnant so he would not divorce me. He said he was not falling into my “trap” and was now more determined than ever to divorce me. I told him I would not give my baby away and he told me I was selfish to raise a baby who would not have a mother and father in the same household. Yet, we had other children who were facing the same dilemma? He said they were strong kids and would manage it.
He says he told the other woman of my pregnancy the same night I had told him. He says he told her that she should not have to be involved in anything like this, for she was still so young (only 19 or 20 at the time). For her to find someone better. She didn’t leave the relationship and neither did he.
About a week after telling him of the pregnancy, he told me he was moving back in the house. But he made it very clear to me that he was only there to help with finances and not for us to get back together. So he moved back home, but lived in the spare bedroom. Our sexual relationship started back up again and sometimes he would even ask me if I wanted to sleep in his bed that night, or sometimes he would crawl into my bed with me. I thought this other woman was out of the picture, since he was at home most of the time. How wrong I was. I can’t recall him saying she was no longer in his life, but he never said that she still was either. I guess I believed what I wanted to believe.
It had now been 2 months since he left me. I was a stander for my marriage, but didn’t know it yet. I knew that I was not about to let some woman take my man away from me and I was not going to lose everything that I had worked so hard for. The Lord was getting me ready for the journey of a lifetime, and I had no idea.
In February 2004, Stephen moved out of the home once again. He moved out right in front of me while I was 4 months pregnant. The other woman had gotten her own apartment and wanted my husband to come live with her. By this time, his whole family and all his friends were aware that he had left his pregnant wife and was moving in with his mistress. No one tried talking any sense into him. No one tried to tell him what he was doing was wrong. But, even if they did, it would have been pointless anyways. Stephen was now fully blinded and deceived by the enemy and the only one who could open his eyes was God.
At the same time I was struggling with my husband leaving, my mother-in-law had announced she was divorcing her husband. (My father-in-law). Satan was killing two birds with one stone here. I never had much of relationship with my father-in-law. I saw him as a grumpy, shrivel old man who needed a good kick in the head and he saw me as a spoiled little princess who always got her own way. But the leaving of our spouses bought us together in a strange way. I began to see a side of him that I had never seen before. I could see that he actually cared about someone other than himself and how much his wife leaving was hurting him. I started feeling sorry for him. But I could not tell him though I did not blame my mother-in-law for leaving as she had endured 35 years of emotional and sometimes physical abuse from him. I felt sorry for him as he was seeing his world come crashing down on him as was mine. But I knew my mother-in-law put her all into her marriage, and tried several times to share her feelings with him, only to be cut down and degraded once again. I knew it was him who needed to change if she was going to come back home. Still, he could find no fault within himself.
I began visiting with him a day or two a week and he was supportive of me. Actually, all his immediate family was supportive of me, with the exception of the sister who had lived with us. And for that I am very grateful. But I don’t blame the sister who was not supportive for she had been blinded and deceived just as well towards all things. I still didn’t know God was calling me to stand for my husband’s soul. I didn’t even know God! I thought I did, as I was raised in a Christian church. My mother took us on Sunday mornings where she taught a class. I would go Sunday evenings with my father where he taught a class. I would go to VBS (Vacation Bible School). I would go to church camps and attend youth meetings. We would even attend church Wednesday evenings, yet, I still did not know God. It was my father-in-law who asked me one day if I had talked to the Lord about my marriage. I was quite surprised to hear this coming from him as I never expected him to have any kind of relationship with the Lord. I told him that no, I hadn’t asked God to bring Stephen home. But that night when I got home, I got on my knees, asked forgiveness for my sins and pleaded with God to bring back my husband. The Lord heard and answered my prayers, only two years later. I never thought it would go on as long as it did. Looking back though, I am thankful the Lord allowed my husband to leave for a season. For us both have grown and we have become a new creation in Christ. This is my journey as a stander.

I am a stander for my marriage
Once I knew I was now a stander, I began a relationship with the Lord I had never had before. It was the most inspiring thing I had ever done. Of course, like most standers, I failed practically everyday in my stand. I would get into the flesh with my husband. I would tell him just what I thought about his girlfriend, and I never had anything good to say about her. I would plead with him to please come home. Not realizing I was only pushing him away farther. What I saw as a valid attempt to get my husband home, he only saw a whining, nagging pregnant lady carrying a baby he didn’t want anyways. The Lord had much to teach me, much to show me and He also had to change me into the woman He intended me to be and the wife my husband needed. Once the Lord revealed to me He wanted to change me, I was like, are you kidding me, God? I’m not the one who needs to change, Stephen is! I’m not the one having an affair! Stephen is! I’m not the one who walked out on the family! Stephen did! It was not me! Not me! Not me! It was all Stephen’s fault! That was the point of view I had. The Lord had some work to do in me. But who better to do it than God anyways?
The Lord began to put people, other standers in my path, who were facing the same trial as I was. They were able to help me out in areas I had no idea what to do in. They prayed for me, they believed with me. The support they gave me was amazing. Even through the countless times I would announce I’m quitting, I’m moving on with life, they continued to hold me up in prayer and give me unconditional godly love.
March, 2004. I was now attending a church. I hadn’t been to church regularly in about 10 years. The pastor and a few other members knew of my situation. They would pray for me, and my family, for my husband’s salvation. Sadly today, in a lot of churches, they will tell you to “get over it” and “move on”, or that you have scriptural reason to get a divorce. I was blessed to be accepted as a member of this church as they prayed for my marriage to be healed. And not only would they lift us up in prayer, but they believed that God could and would restore my marriage. Though my heart ached that I could not share my new love for the Lord with my husband yet, being at this church, with other believers lifted my spirit.
On Stephen’s birthday in March of 2004, he took the other woman out of state to meet more of his relatives. It hurt so bad that my husband was not only replacing me, but that all his family was welcoming into their homes this replacement. My husband and I had so many bills that we could barely afford to dine out, and now here he is, traveling with her! When I found out that he had gone out of state with her, I set up an appointment with a Christian, bible-based counselor. And I began therapy to help me deal with the pain, the anger and the future I could be facing without my husband.
At the end of March, I lost my job as Stephen would no longer watch the children while I worked. He said it was my job to provide care for them while I was working since I was the one who retained custody of them. He would come and see the children, be a father to them, but on a schedule that was convient to him. Now, I have no job. Stephen is not helping financially in anyway at all. There are bills to be paid, a past due mortgage. There are no groceries in the home. I am sinking here. I am crying out to Stephen to please help me and all he’s doing is holding my head under the water.
Stephen continues with his talk of divorce. I don’t really believe him though. I was refusing to look at what I didn’t want to see. I only thought that this “divorce talk” was just that. Talk. I thought he was only being mean, trying to scare me. He didn’t really mean it, and once he had spoken to a lawyer he would realize how much he had to lose, and he would realize that he still loved me and would come home to me. How wrong I was. On April 6th, 2004 there is a knock on my door. I had been served my divorce papers. I could not believe what I saw in those papers. My husband was divorcing me on the grounds that I had put him through severe and harsh mental cruelty throughout our marriage! He’s the one having the affair! He’s the one showing me affection one day and telling me he hates me the next! Yet, I’m the one being accused of mental cruelty? I called one of the ladies at the church and she met with me for prayer.
Things only seem to go from bad to worse. Not only have I lost my husband to another woman, lost my job, have absolutely no income at all, been served divorce papers, now I receive a foreclosure notice from the bank. My home, my dream home, is about to be taken away from me too. I can’t afford to pay any of my bills. I had been to every place in the county that I could to try to apply for assistance. I don’t qualify for anything other than food stamps. Yes, that’s right. I’m pregnant with 2 other children at home, I have no job, a husband who has abandoned his family, and I don’t qualify to receive any assistance. Oh, sure, they tell me to apply again at another date, or that they’ll hold my application, maybe something will show up that can help. Well, I need help now. I can’t afford to pay my electric bill, I can’t afford to pay my mortgage and I am about to become homeless with 2 children and I have a baby due in 3 months.
Sure enough, the lights go out. I no longer have any electricity in my home. It is an $800 bill, so I can’t afford to get them turned back on. I pack up clothes for the boys, clothes for me and move back to my parents’ home, leaving all the furniture and other items still sitting in our marital home. Stephen and I discuss the future of the house. I want to keep it, but can’t afford it. He can afford it, but don’t want it. So we agree to try to sell it before a foreclosure would seize the home. I call a realtor and the house is placed on the market. It is a devastating sight for me to see a for sale sign sitting in front of my home. I was only able to live there a year and a half. This was the home where my husband and I were going to grow old together in. Now, all my dreams are “for sale.”
A court date for support had been set for June 9, 2004. Stephen is court ordered to pay me almost $400 more per month than I, he, or our lawyers were expecting me to get. I am happy with the outcome of the support, but of course, he is not. In fact, he is furious. To him, it is unfair in all ways. He gives me one check for $250, and I never see another dime from him after that.
A court date for the divorce had been set for June 28th, 2004. As I was dreading that day, my husband was busy planning his new future without me. He was going to finish up school, get his degree, and have his new career and his new fling at his side. The other woman was up on her high horse too; as she was about to officially make my husband her man. The court day was quickly closing in, as was the birth of our daughter. My husband was about to legally end our marriage. Or so he thought.
The morning of June 28th, 2004, we were both at the court house with our lawyers. I pleaded with my lawyer to somehow stop this. She told me to get over it. Stephen would be getting his divorce, and there was nothing I could do about it. I just needed to face reality, and accept my fate. As my husband took the stand to testify as why he should get a divorce, I could not believe the lies that were coming out of his mouth. It was one lie after another. And when the judge asked what I had done to cause him so much anguish and mental cruelty, Stephen replied that it was my pregnancy, our baby that was causing him the grief. He said I had “trapped” him into getting me pregnant. He said that having another mouth to feed would interfere with his schooling and be harmful to his future as he might not be able to afford the things he thought best for himself. I was asked if I wanted to testify too, and I did. I took the stand and told the judge of our relationship. About how my husband would still be affectionate with me. (Something Stephen denied). I told of how I still believed we could save our marriage with the help of counseling, and that I forgave him. I just wanted him home. After I had testified, I took my seat back next to my lawyer and began to prepare myself for the worse. Here it was; the end of my marriage. But, the Spirit of God was in the courtroom that day. And what I believe to be a miracle took place. The judge denied Stephen his divorce. In the judge’s final ruling, he told Stephen that he thought everything he had said was a lie and that he believed me. He told Stephen that a pregnancy was not mental cruelty, that Stephen was a grown man who knew how to use protection if he was worried about getting somebody pregnant. The case was thrown completely out of court. Not only was it thrown out of court, but the judge also ruled that Stephen would have to wait 2 full years to file again, unless I would agree to a 6 month waiver. Of course, I was willing to make Stephen wait the two years.
After leaving the courtroom, I had a brief meeting with my lawyer who explained to me the judge’s ruling and how we would set up an appointment after the baby was born to get support from Stephen started again. I went into the bathroom after that and said a prayer of thanks to the Lord. As Stephen left the courtroom, he called the other woman and informed her that the divorce did not happen. He said that she hung up on him, and then he was later told by her brother that as she hung up the phone she fell to the ground in tears that I had won again. I wasn’t done winning yet. I was still determined to have my husband home with me and our children.
My due date to have the baby was July 3rd, 2004. The day was now July 1st, 2004. Three days after the divorce was thrown out of court, I had a doctor’s appointment to check to see how the baby was growing. My sister-in-law, Faith, had been my best support during the pregnancy. She was my Lamaze coach; she was the one who went to my doctor visits with me, she was the one I could call on if I needed anything. I was at the apartment complex where both her and my mother-in-law were living at, getting ready for the appointment. I had met Stephen over there to take the boys. Faith and I headed to the appointment. There the doctor did a pelvic exam and told me that I was dilated enough I could walk over to maternity to have this baby if I wanted. I was all for that! After all, I was fat, bloated and could no longer see my own feet. I was a small person and this baby was sucking up all my air as she seemed to have moved out of the womb and made my lungs her new home.
Faith went with me over to labor and delivery where they set me up in a room and put an IV in me to start the pitocin, the drug used to induce labor. Since it would be about 2 hours before the drug would take effect, Faith left to tell Stephen that I was having the baby and also to inform my parents. While she was gone, my aunt came up to the hospital to be with me so I would not have to be alone. Faith returned about an hour later and Stephen also showed up to the hospital. He stepped foot into the room briefly, looked at me, and then turned to wait in the hallway. The drug started taking affect around 7pm, 2 hours after it was administered. The contractions were getting hard. I told Faith I wanted my husband by my side. She was so supportive in comforting me. She went to tell him I wanted him with me as I had the baby, but he refused. At 8:32 pm on July 1st, 2004, Cassady Grace entered the world weighing 7lbs 1 oz. She was beautiful. Faith cut the cord and went to tell Stephen he had a daughter. He came in to see her and he held her for about half an hour before leaving. He said that when he called the other woman to tell her that he had a new daughter, she hung up on him. I could not understand his being with her. He always talked about how important his kids were to him, yet he dates someone who can’t seem to accept the fact he has children and becomes emotional towards him when he goes to see his kids.
The next morning Stephen was back at the hospital spending time with the baby. I thought that now he has her in his arms, he will see how much she needs a family, realize how much he still loves me and come home. Well, he was on his way home; it was just going to be another 14 months before he officially got there. God still had work that needed to be done.
On July 3rd, 2 days after the birth of our daughter, I was still living at my parents’ house. They had left the day before to go to Canada to pick up their dog, a male boxer who has both AKC and UKC registration and had been doing shows in Canada. With my parents being away, Stephen was able to come over to the house. My dad still maintained a certain level of respect with Stephen, but my mother, if given the opportunity, would have shot him on sight. Now, this day, July 3rd, was also our son’s Tyler’s birthday. He had turned 7 years old. Stephen picked up Tyler and took him birthday shopping. When they returned, Stephen was very helpful with me in the care of the baby. I was in a lot of discomfort because the day earlier I had had a tubal legation performed. He changed her diapers, he even made me lunch so I could sit and relax. The only thing he could not do was feed her since I was nursing.
Stephen seemed to become bonded with Cassady. He loved every moment he got to spend with her. I still could not understand though how he could leave every night and crawl in bed with somebody else, sleeping in a place 45 minutes away from his wife and children. But yet, that is what he did. We started spending more time together. He wanted to see his daughter, but was unable to take her anywhere with him alone since I was nursing and he could not come into my parents home as my mother would not allow it. So, he would take us to a park where we would spend a few hours together, just me, him and the kids. He stopped talking about wanting a divorce, but on the other hand, never mentioned he was thinking about coming home either. That was ok. I was just thankful he had stopped talking about a divorce, at least to me anyways. It was almost as if he was starting to enjoy my company again. And this time, it was not just sexual rendezvous’ between us; we were actually spending, what I considered to be quality time together. We were taking the family to the park about twice a week together and there he would even play around with me. He would push me on the swings; he would chase me around the trees and would fix picnic lunches for us to eat. We were having a lot of good times together. The other woman had no idea that my husband was spending this much time with me.
Though nobody was living in the house, I still received my mail there. I would go over there about once a week to check the mail. One day as I pulled into the drive, I saw a large moving truck sitting there. I had no idea what was going on. The backdoor was wide open and my furniture was missing. I went inside and looked around. The furniture was gone. All the boxes of my personal belongings that I had packed up were gone. I walked around the downstairs of the house and everything was just gone. I walked over to the bottom of the stairs and could hear two voices coming from upstairs, one male, and one female. Now I had the biggest urge to march right up those stairs and kick some husband-stealing butt, but I contained myself. I yelled out Stephen’s name and he came downstairs. She did not. I knew she was up there, I heard her talking, but I did not say one word to Stephen about her being in our home. I demanded to know what he thought he was doing. He told me that he was taking my things and that I could have them back as soon as I signed his divorce papers. If I would have had a cell phone on me, I would have called the police right there and had them come over to put a stop to this, but since I did not, I left and drove down to the police station. The police station was located just a few blocks down the road. I spoke to an officer about what was going on and got an answer I did not like. Stephen and I were still legally married, making my stuff; his stuff too. He had every right to take what he wanted and without a court order proving they were mine, he was free to take all he wanted. I called my lawyer and informed her of what had happened. She did nothing to help me to get my things back. Though I was furious with him about taking the items out of the house as I was going to need them once I was able to get out of my parents home, I said nothing more to him about it. I kept a quite spirit. Several months later, I found out that this was the other woman’s idea to take my furniture and other belongings to try to force me into giving Stephen a divorce.
It was August 10th, 2004, just two days after the incident at the house. I was still mad at him and did not want to be around him at all. But he had asked me if I would go with him and the kids to the park. I accepted his offer. Once again we had taken the family to a local park. It was a warm summer night. Our infant daughter, now 6 weeks old was asleep in her car seat. Our two boys and his daughter were running around and playing. Stephen and I were goofing off too. He was wearing a ball cap that night. He was hiding behind the park restrooms waiting for one of the kids to run by so he could jump out and scare them. I crept up behind him and swiped the cap off his head. I ran with it and he gave chase. I tripped, falling to the ground. He tripped over me, falling right on me. He got up, but I couldn’t move. Something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. Stephen came over to see what was wrong. I told him that I could not move. He started to feel around by body looking for broken bones, and sure enough, I had broken my clavicle. He dialed 911 to have an ambulance take me to the emergency room and he called my parents to meet him at the park to get the kids. He also called the mother of his daughter, Katie, to pick her up. I went to the ER in the back of the bumpiest ambulance you could imagine. Not much fun when your shoulder bone is poking up through your skin. Stephen met me at ER as soon as he could. He stayed with me as they fitted me into a brace to hold the broken bone in place. He drove me home afterwards. On the way back to my parent’s house, he said to me that he wanted to stay with me for the night to help with the baby, but knew that he couldn’t. He was being very sensitive to my needs, and I felt that he would come to realize how much he still loves me and needs to come home. How wrong I was once again.
Though he was being very kind, and concerned about me, he still had no intentions of coming home. The next morning after my accident, he came to pick me up. He took me to the orthopedic surgeons where I had more x-rays done of the break, and was fitted into a new shoulder brace. He would go with me into the exam room and reassure me that everything would be ok. I can remember one of the nurses commenting on what a beautiful family we were. Of course, they had no idea of what our current situation was. When Stephen would fill out my paperwork for me, he marked us down as “married” instead of separated, and when any of the doctors or nurses would ask, he referred to me as his wife. That meant so much to me as he would call me his “ex-wife” to everybody, even though we were still legally married. He was very helpful. I had no use of my right arm at all. Even the slightest movement of it was quite painful. He would help me in and out of the car, put my seatbelt on me and did everything he could to make sure I was comfortable. He was coming over everyday to help with the baby. He would come while my parents were at work to take care of me. He would help me in the shower, washing my hair for me. He would help me to get dressed, he would brush my hair and then he would sit on the couch and let me prop myself up against his chest to help keep my back straight.
The other woman knew about this accident, but was not happy with the idea that Stephen was coming over to see me everyday now and that he would be with me sometimes up to 8 hours. She began to nag Stephen about it, and soon Stephen stopped coming over to help and would send Faith over in his place. Though he could not come over to help me anymore, due to the complaints of the other woman, he would still contact me when she was not around to ask how I was doing.
It took about 2 months for me to heal from the broken bone and I was now able to find my own place. I was approved to move into a small 2 bedroom, low-income apartment. A big change from the large 4 bedroom house that I had been living at with my husband. I was thankful to be moving out of my parent’s home though. The two boys, the baby and I were all sharing one bedroom there and we were quite cramped. I was looking forward to moving into my own place, but I had no furniture, no dishes, no silverware, no bed, and no blankets, nothing except a TV and a few pictures to hang on the walls. What on earth was I going to do? God knew what I needed and the Lord provided. The Lord put people in my path that had things they no longer needed, and that I could use. My new apartment was soon fully furnished with everything that I needed. Now here I am, a single mother with 3 children and still no job. Returning to work was not option for me at the time since I was still breastfeeding the baby. She would not take any bottles at all. We tried, and we used various types of nipples to no avail. She wanted mommy and refused anything else. The good news was though that the local health department had a program which allowed new mothers to stay at home with the baby up until their 1st birthday and I could receive financial assistance to help me out. The down side of that was they did not pay much and for the next 5 months I lived on $250 a month. I was able to stretch that money out as I paid no rent at the apartment and they also paid for my lights. But I still had diapers, wipes and school supplies to buy for the boys. Just those alone would eat away at this money.
Stephen still did not help out financially in anyway. He knew I needed the help. He knew I was struggling. Yet, he seemed to be living the “good life”. He bought a new car, new clothes. He was taking small weekend trips with the other woman; all the while I am scrapping together nickels and dimes to buy toilet paper. I kept praying day and night for his heart to soften towards me. For him to realize I need this monetary help. I saw no change in him. My lawyer had still not set a date for us to go to court for me to get support and it had now been 6 months since the divorce was dropped. I ended up firing her. I continued to struggle day after day. I could not yet return to work because my daughter refused to take a bottle, she would only take to my breast. The Lord blessed me in various ways and was providing for me. My parents paid off the remainder of my car loan and were paying for the monthly insurance on the car too. Though money was very tight, I was still able manage.
Stephen was coming over to my apartment on Tuesdays and Thursdays to see the kids. Since the place he was staying was 45 minutes away from my apartment, he would stay with us for about 4 hours on those nights. Some nights he would even fix dinner for all us. The other woman was not aware that Stephen was staying with me. She had thought that he would pick the kids up and just simply go to play at a park somewhere. She did not like the children because they were a reminder to her that Stephen had a bond with somebody else and could not be entirely devoted to her. And she avoided any contact with the children as much as possible. When Stephen would come over those two nights a week, we got along with each other pretty good. He would hold me as we sat on the couch; he would give me hugs and kisses. But he was still very double-minded. For as one day he would be sweet and affectionate, the next he would very bluntly express to me how much he disliked me and how much happier he would be once he was able to get the divorce. He did not speak much of the other woman in my presence, but when he did, I hated it. My body tensed up. I would feel so sick to my stomach and I would very much get into the flesh with him about it. I had hated her for destroying my marriage. I had hated her for taking my children’s father away from them. I had hated her because she would not allow my husband to be there for us. The Lord was still working in me. The Lord needed to show me that she was not the enemy, but a tool of the enemy’s used to try to destroy my family. I needed to forgive her and needed to be able to pray blessings over her. Still, the thought of me praying for her was unheard of.
I loved my husband so very much. In spite of all that had happened. I prayed daily for him to change. The Lord showed me that I needed to change first. My prayers went from Lord, change him to Lord change me. I was becoming a new woman in Christ. I was showing Stephen love when I would have preferred to slap him upside the head. I was keeping a quite tongue where I would have preferred to tell him exactly what I thought of his actions at that time. I would do things to make his visit over at my apartment relaxing for him. Through it all, his heart was still hard. It was very frustrating to be kind to somebody who showed no gratitude towards that kindness. Still I prayed. I felt as if he loved me; after all he could be affectionate with me. But he would never verbally express he loved me. Then on the night on November 31, 2004, he told me he loved me. He told me about how he would lie awake in bed, next to her, but thinking of me. He had told me he would search himself for reasons to leave her and come home. He told me he never stopped loving me, but too much had happened; too much damage was done to be able to fix the marriage. He said even if we tried, he didn’t believe it would work anyways. I gave praise to the Lord that my husband had verbally expressed to me he still loved me. I gave thanks to the Lord that I knew he was feeling my prayers and I continued to pray against the strongholds of the enemy on him.
Also in my prayers was my house. I was praying for a way to stop the foreclosure. I believed that if we were able to save the house, we would all move back in and be a family. Then in December 2004, I received a letter from the bank saying they would work with us so we could keep the house. That was an answered prayer for me! After all, we hadn’t sent them a single payment in about 7 or 8 months and now all the sudden they are offering me a way out of foreclosure! I told Stephen about this, for the only way to save the home was with his help. Now he was not going to help me save the house out of the kindness of his heart. He used this to his advantage. He knew how much that house meant to me and so he demanded that I sign the 6 month waiver agreement for the divorce, that way he would not have to wait another year and a half to be “single”. Boy, talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. I did not want to sign this waiver, and I did not want to lose my house. Reluctantly I signed the waiver. I could save my house, but now in 6 months my marriage would be over and there would be no stopping it this time. I had signed my John Hancock in agreement to give Stephen what he wanted.
Stephen stayed true to his word about helping me to save the house. We filed our taxes together in February 2005 and split the money in half between us. The bank claimed there was a lien against the house and they could not stop the foreclosure unless that was taken care of. Stephen and I split the cost of the lien; we then sent the bank close to $1200. After receiving that money, they contacted us once again saying there was yet another lien against the house and that it needed to be removed. We were fast running out of time. We only had 3 days left before it was to be sold at auction. The bank had us jumping through one hoop after another. I took what was left of my share of the tax refund and paid off that lien. I now had no more cash left, but at least I was able to save my house. To my horror that did not happen. After paying out a total of almost $1700 and jumping through all their hoops, they told us no, that they would not give us back the house and sold it a few days later.
I was crushed. I was completely devastated. I had prayed so hard for my house. In my prayers I would even ask “In the name of Jesus” and anything we ask in the name of Jesus shall be given to us right? Not always, sometimes God has another plan and this time my home was not in God’s will. I couldn’t understand it, another knife through my heart. When God, will this all end? I became increasingly frustrated with the lack of financial aid from my husband. I was getting determined not to let him win and force him to pay up. I talked to a couple different lawyers on advice on how to get support from him. All their answers were the same; no divorce, no support. Without a court order he was not obligated to pay me anything, and the previous order that was in effect expired when the divorce was dropped. He’s the one out doing all these wicked things, yet he’s the one who’s prospering? I’m praying to God daily, soaking up the word as much as I can and he is openly mocking God. Still I struggle and he only prospers. I start thinking in the flesh and decide that I’m going to show him. He wants a divorce! Fine! I’ll give him a divorce and take him for everything he’s got.
I go to a law firm that works with low-income households and they draw up divorce papers for me. I receive the papers in the mail, the only thing I need from Stephen is his signature, and then if he would agree to my terms, we could settle out of court and the divorce would be finalized. I place the paperwork on my kitchen table ready to give it to him the next time I see him. I go to sleep for the night and the next day the papers are gone. No explanation as to what could have happened to them. I knew that my children would not have messed with them. They were simply gone. I searched the apartment and could not find them. I took the mysterious disappearance of those papers as a sign from above. I never asked the law firm for another copy and I never told Stephen of what I had done.
Cassady was now finally weaned off the breast and taking a bottle. I took a job at the local gas station working as a cashier. Stephen would stay at my apartment as I worked Tuesday and Thursday nights to watch the kids. Other nights, my dad would watch them for me. Not a lot changed over the next few months. I continued to pray for my husband; for our marriage and for the other woman to be removed from our lives. I continued to fellowship with other standers over the internet. The Lord had filled me a sense of peace about my life and that HE was hearing my prayers. Though I saw no signs from my husband that he would soon be home, God gave me signs. The week before what was our to be our 8 year wedding anniversary, this would be the second wedding anniversary that my husband had been gone; I began praying profusely that I would have contact with Stephen on that day, any type of contact at all. The Lord once again came through for me and on May 21st, 2005, Stephen contacted me via instant messenger through the computer and we had casual conversation for about 45 minutes. He never acknowledged our special day, but I said a prayer of thanks to the Lord that I had had contact with him on our day.
Five days later on May 26th, I was at my home computer. The children were all asleep for the night. When I felt that I needed to pray. I hadn’t been thinking of praying at that moment, I was wrapped up in whatever I was doing on the computer. I leave the computer and sit on the couch. I bow my head in prayer. I wasn’t sure why I had been told to pray, or even for what. I began asking the Lord for His will to be done. The Spirit of the Lord spoke to me. Not verbally, but through my thoughts. The Lord told me to pray for my husband, and I began lifting him up in prayer. As I was praying the Spirit of the Lord told me to get my Bible. When I had my Bible in my hands I asked God to lead me to the scripture He wanted me to see. I closed my eyes and thumbed through the pages. I closed my eyes so that whatever page I opened up too, I knew it would be from God and not just me seeing what I wanted to see. When I opened the bible, the page I was on did not speak to me. So I closed my bible and my eyes and prayed once again. Still, the same thing happened. Nothing I found really spoke to me. I repeated the same process 2 or 3 more times and was getting nowhere. I had now started to think God wasn’t really speaking to me. I was hearing things, so to speak. I quickly closed my prayer and returned to my computer. No sooner than I had sat down, God seemed to yell at me. For in my thoughts I heard a very loud and very stern “I am not done yet! Get your Bible!” I quickly obeyed and took my Bible back into my hands. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, asking God to show me what it was He wanted me to see. With my eyes closed I thumbed through the pages of my Bible. I opened up the Bible and this is what I read;
6 " 'Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; (my marriage) I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security. (Our family) 7 I will bring Judah and Israel (Stephen and Angelique) back from captivity [b] and will rebuild them as they were before. 8 I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me. 9 Then this city (marriage) will bring me renown, joy, praise and honor before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for it; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for it.' (Marriage)
10 "This is what the LORD says: 'You say about this place, "It is a desolate waste, without men or animals." (My broken marriage) Yet in the towns of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem that are deserted, inhabited by neither men nor animals, (the broken family; the broken marriage) there will be heard once more 11 the sounds of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom, (Stephen as groom and I as bride) and the voices of those who bring thank offerings to the house of the LORD, saying,
"Give thanks to the LORD Almighty,
for the LORD is good;
his love endures forever."
For I will restore the fortunes of the land as they were before,' says the LORD.
12 "This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'In this place, desolate and without men or animals—in all its towns there will again be pastures for shepherds to rest their flocks. 13 In the towns of the hill country, of the western foothills and of the Negev, in the territory of Benjamin, in the villages around Jerusalem and in the towns of Judah, flocks will again pass under the hand of the one who counts them,' says the LORD.
14 " 'The days are coming,' declares the LORD, 'when I will fulfill the gracious promise I made to the house of Israel and to the house of Judah.
I could not believe my eyes! Right there the Lord spoke to me confirming to me that He would indeed restore my marriage. And not only would it be restored but this restoration was going to bring Him glory and things that had been lost would be restored. Then I noticed what I was reading; it was Jeremiah 33:6-14. The title of the chapter was “The Promise of Restoration.” I fell to my knees in a prayer of thanks and shared my promise from the Lord with other standers. At the time I had no idea the significance of this confirmation of my restoration, but around the same time I received this word, my husband was moving out of the apartment of the other woman. Their relationship, after nearly two years was over.
I had never believed him to actually be happy with her. Though he acted as if he was, I just could not see him happy with her. She nagged him constantly. She hated the fact he had children, she was very insecure and she was very bitter. After a year and a half of living with her, Stephen ended the relationship and moved out. He moved in with a male friend of his. This wasn’t the first time he had ended the relationship with her, but this time would be the last. He had left her before and would start thinking of ways to come home to his family. But she would track him down and beg him to come back to her. And he would go back to her. This time the Lord would not allow reconciliation between them and even when she once again begged my husband to come back to her, he stood firm and did not give in.
When I had found Stephen was no longer with her I was overjoyed. I had heard a number of testimonies of where once the other person was out of the picture; the spouse came home within a short time. I was fully expecting my husband to announce to me, any moment now, that he wanted to come home. Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, and my husband did not tell me he was ready to come home. As the waiting for my husband’s return grew increasingly longer, in a strange turn of events, my heart grew cold against him. The Lord was about to totally transform my husband into a new creation in Christ and I was about to become a prodigal wife.

How my husband who was once a prodigal became a stander for our marriage and how I became the prodigal
It is now August of 2005; 23 months since my husband told me was leaving me. And it had now been 3 months since he left the other woman. I would still see him twice a week when he would come to see the kids and he was still very back and forth with me. He would talk with me in casual conversation as if we were old friends, he would still hold me, kiss me, lay with me and then turn and announce that he still intended on getting his divorce. I got to the point I didn’t care anymore. The 6 month waiting period since I had signed his waiver was up and I was fully expecting to be served divorce papers once again. Even though I had promised God I would stand for my husband until he was home or until one of us went to the grave, I still decided it was time for me to move on.
At the same time I was preparing myself for a new life without my husband, the Lord was working extra time on Stephen. He became more miserable than he had been before in his life. Though he was surrounded by friends and family, he had never felt so alone. He couldn’t figure out why. He thought that he was missing the other woman, not knowing God was changing him. At this time, I had completely stopped praying for him. Why did I stop praying for him? It was because I had met somebody. I had had other men show interest in me before as I was standing for my marriage, had other men ask to date me, but I was not interested in them. I was standing for the restoration of my marriage and that was that. So, why was this guy any different? What was it about him that caught my attention the way it did? To this day, I’m not really sure. Maybe for the first time in almost 2 years somebody was finally showing me they liked me and they were always kind to me; not playing with my emotions and not toying with my heart. I knew deep down I loved Stephen, but now I was ready to finally get him out of my heart and move on. I had no plans of any type of commitment to this new guy in my life and he had no plans of any type of commitment to me. It was just a good start for me to flush Stephen out of my heart. And he just enjoyed my company.
He knew I was still legally married but we had been separated almost 2 years now. He did question why we were not divorced after such a long separation, but he never pressured me into getting a quick divorce. In fact, he never pushed the divorce issue on me at all. I called a law firm to have a consultation done of what my options were to get a divorce and if I could make payment arrangements since I could not afford a retainer fee. The lawyer that I spoke to after hearing what I had been through, flat out offered to take up my case free of charge. He would go after Stephen to pay for his fees. I thought wow, this is too good. I told Stephen that I was done with him and was ready to get a divorce. He was all for it still. At least in his own little world he was, but the Lord was about to move in his life like a mighty wave.
About two weeks later, I’m still conversing with this guy and Stephen is feeling the effects of the absence of my prayers for him. He is getting worse. But he’s getting worse for the better. All we have been doing recently with each other is argue. I am hard towards him because I finally feel as if I’m ready to start a new life, and I don’t want any feelings of love for him resurfacing. After all, loving somebody so much can hurt and I do not want to feel that kind of pain again. It’s more than just an emotional pain. You actually physical hurt. I can remember when he first left how I would lay crumpled on the floor in gut-wrenching pain. How I would sob until I could no longer breathe. I lost my will to eat and within a month dropped 30 pounds. I praise God for the hand of protection that was laid on me, for throughout all the stress I was under, I had a healthy, normal pregnancy and a healthy, normal baby girl.
On August 28th, 2005, I was on my way to meet Stephen for him to take the kids as I had to work that evening. I was still mad at him. I was still certain I was ready to divorce him, and he was also ready for the divorce too. I couldn’t even stand to speak to him on the phone without wanting to fly into a full blown rage. Little did I know that in about 12 hours another miracle would take place. And I couldn’t have been more unprepared. Stephen spent the day with the kids and was at my apartment when I had gotten off work. Nothing new about that, since he was living 45 minutes from me, he would sit at my place with the kids while I worked. He would put them to bed at the appropriate time and do “dad things” with them. When I would get home from work, usually around 10:30 pm, he’d be watching TV. Sometimes he would stay up to an hour and talk with me; other times he would have his shoes on all ready to go. This night, I was fully expecting him to leave since we had done nothing but argue anyways. I had been so angry with him earlier that anytime I did speak to him on the phone, I wouldn’t say good-bye, I would just hang up. I walk in the door and he’s watching TV. I want to tell him to get out, to leave. I don’t say a word to him. He continues to watch his movie. I’m thinking to myself; ok, once the movie is over, he’s going to get out of here and I can have peace and quiet. So, to avoid him, I begin cleaning the place up by washing the dishes and picking up the kids’ toys from earlier that had been scattered all over the place. Eventually, I run out of things to do and he’s still there. I decide that I will just have to wait him out. My mouth wants to tell him to get out so bad, but I just cannot get the words out. So, I simply do not speak to him at all. I go ahead and sit down on the couch, way far at the end opposite of him and I then take 3 or 4 pillows making a barrier between us, I crouch down behind the pillows so he cannot see me. Finally, this movie he had been watching is over. I think to myself “Good, now he’s going to leave.” He doesn’t leave. Instead he turns off the TV and continues to sit on my couch. There is a long silence and I look over my pillow-wall at him. He looks sad, he looks lost, and he looks hurt. The silence is broken a few minutes later when he looks at me and says, “I’m sorry.” You could not believe my shock to hear the words “I’m sorry” come out of his mouth. In fact, I did not even know my husband knew that those two words could be put together to make a sentence. I didn’t know what to say, or what to think. My mind is racing all over the place. I asked him what he was sorry for; thinking maybe he had broken a plate in the kitchen earlier or something along those lines, never ever expecting to hear what I heard next.

The restoration begins, but the battle is still on
He starts to tell me how sorry he is for all the hurt and pain he had caused me. He tells me he is sorry for all the lies, for the betrayal, that he is sorry for everything. Once he has finished telling me how sorry he is, I lash out at him. I’m sitting there yelling at him telling him how much pain he has put me through. He sits there and lets me yell at him. After giving him a good tongue lashing, I calm down, I take a few deep breaths and I begin to witness to him. I could never witness to him before, he would not hear of it. I tell him that God forgives him and he can put it all behind him. I tell him that I have some friends who would pray for him if he was willing. He agreed and I called a phone line where a group of other standers would gather together nightly for prayer. I told them that I had my husband with me and he needed prayer. I give him the phone and they all pray for him, one person even begins to pray in tongues. After the prayer, they witness to him about God’s love and God’s mercies. He seems to take their words to heart. After finishing with the call, he and I talk. We share a deep, moving heartfelt talk, something we hadn’t done in years. We end up making love and he says he loves me and wants to work on the marriage. At first he is very reluctant to tell anybody that we are getting back together. He says he still has his own issues to work out. I tell him I understand. I confess to him that I had been seeing somebody but would break it off. Well, I guess this guy had his hooks in me more than I knew and eventually we stopped speaking, only 3 ½ months later.
The next two weeks, Stephen began to grow in Christ little by little. Though we hadn’t told anybody yet we were going to give the marriage another try, we would see each other everyday, speak on the phone everyday and when he could, he would stay the night with me. Now, when he wasn’t around, I would find a sitter for the kids and go see my boyfriend. Oh I knew it was wrong and I was defiantly feeling the conviction of it, but yet, I had to be with this guy. Something drew me to him. My husband began praying, seeking out the Lord. He started to call into the conference call and make new friends in Christ. I had once been an avid partaker in the nightly call, but once I had fallen into my sin, I stopped. After two weeks of keeping our under-going restoration a secret from friends and family, my husband decided it was now time to tell them. He confessed to all those he had lied to that he was the bad person and not me. He confessed that everything he had said about me that was horrible was a lie. This was not easy to do for him being a very proud man, and he feared rejection. But, nobody rejected him. Nobody turned their backs on him. Instead, everyone was very happy for us. Some of those people even apologized to me for thinking that I had been a rotten wife to my husband.
Not only did he tell his friends and family that we had gotten back together, but on September 3rd, 2005, two years to the day that he had left, he called into the conference from his apartment and I was on it from mine. In front of maybe 10 other standers, he asked me to be his wife again. All the women who were on the call that night said yes for me. I was hesitant to accept his proposal as the pain from what had happened over the course of the years was still great. I did say yes and he came to my place, got down on his knee and slipped my ring back on my finger. I told him that I had something for him, I went and got his ring and put it on his finger. He asked me where I got that. I told him I had always had it. He said that was strange because he took it from my jewelry box before we had moved out of our marital home. I had kept his ring because it meant so much to me and so little to him. I knew he would try to pawn it or destroy it somehow. I would take it out every night, kiss it and tell Stephen that I loved him before going to sleep. He told me of how one day he was going through things at the house and came across it. He decided that I should not have it and took it. When he returned to the other woman’s apartment, he emptied the contents of his pockets out on the coffee table and when she saw the ring demanded to know why he had it. He told her he could pawn it and get some cash and that by him taking it, it would hurt me. She was satisfied with the knowledge of pain upon me. He went on to say that later on he went looking for the ring so he could take it to the pawn shop but couldn’t find it. He thought “Oh well, no big deal, like I’m going to be needing it anyways” and never thought about it again. I told him about how I took it out every night and never once was it ever missing from my jewelry box. This baffled both us, but we knew only God could have done this.
Now, I was so happy that my husband had finally come to his senses, yet I was still wallowing in my sin. One month after getting back together, we moved into a new home. The pain of my husband’s affair was still fresh in my mind and I used that to justify my own sin. I knew this was not God’s way, yet, to me, it was “well, if he can be with somebody else, so can I!” I would get home from work around 10:30 at night, brush my hair, freshen my make-up and take off to my boyfriend’s house. I would even kiss my husband good-bye before leaving. I knew he was hurting. A part of me felt that he was getting what he deserved, a taste of his own medicine, yet another part of me felt horrible for hurting him this way. Deep down I knew how much I loved him and did not want him to hurt. To comfort him, I would actually share scripture on how to pray for one’s spouse.
One day I wanted to go see my friend and Stephen lost control. His anger and jealousy over what I had been doing consumed him. He physically restrained me from leaving the house. He took my cell phone and my car keys. I was so angry with him that I told him we were done!!! That this marriage was not going to work out and that if he was not going to let me leave the house, then I wanted him out. He put the car keys and cell phone in his pocket, took a box, placed some of his belongings in it and walked out the door. I went after him and reached into his pocket to retrieve my phone. He dropped the box and pushed me to the ground. He tried to help me up but I screamed. I started walking down the street and he came after me, pushing me back into the yard. I yelled at him to let go and he did. I went back into the house and he followed. By this time, he snapped out of the state he was in and began apologizing profusely to me. He gave me my phone and my keys and I took off in my car. I didn’t go far though. I just parked at the end of the alley way. I spoke to my friend on the phone hoping to get the ok to come over, but he was busy. I waited a few minutes and went home. When I walked in the door, my husband was waiting there for me. His eyes were red with tears. He told me how sorry he was and we hugged,
I was still uncertain what I was going to do about our marriage. I was certain that I knew what God expected from me, but yet, for me, it was a conflicting issue. I loved my husband so much. I had my prayers answered. I had my husband home, loving me, serving the Lord, everything I had prayed for. I wanted my husband and my marriage, but I also wanted this other guy. I couldn’t have them both though. The same continued on for about two more months. I would go off leaving my husband with our children to be with my boyfriend while still comforting him and giving him scripture to pray over me. One day my friend called me and said we should stop talking to each other. He was not comfortable being with a married woman. I said that was ok and that I had been thinking the same thing. I had been thinking that from the moment Stephen came home but couldn’t ever tell him. I finally felt free and called Stephen at work and told him what had happened. Two weeks pass and I call the other man up on the phone. My job had been severely cutting my hours and he had been helping me to try to get a job working at another place. I called strictly to see if he had any word on that job and he said no. We ended up talking for quite a while and he told me he missed me. After that conversation I didn’t speak to him again for another week when suddenly I get a text message on my phone from him inviting me to a Christmas party he was having. Only problem was, Stephen had my phone at that moment and I was at work. I soon received a call from an angry husband wanting to know why he was texting, and as I was lying my way through that one, the other guys calls my phone. Uh-Oh. Stephen did not answer it though and no message was left.
I began sneaking around my husband’s back to talk to the other guy. Stephen started demanding that I end it once and for all and I kept saying I would, but never did. I remember the day very clearly still. It was December 23, 2005 and my phone rings. Guess who? I don’t answer it because Stephen is here, but he knew from the personalized ring who it was. Now I had every intention of calling this guy back as soon as Stephen left for work. He asked to use my phone and I said ok. He took it outside and I started dinner. I figured he was talking to one of his friends, never did I think that he would have called this guy and told him to leave me alone. When Stephen told me what he did, I was so furious with him. And once again told him we were finished. For the next week, I was so angry with him that I hardly spoke to him and if I did, it wasn’t nice. Still, I knew my place was with my husband, not the other man and deep down inside was thankful that he did what I couldn’t do. I have not spoken to that man since that day. I did run into him at a gas station a few weeks later, but we did not speak to each other at all. Since then, I have not even seen him.
I believe the Lord had control of the entire situation the entire time. Even when things looked as if they were spiraling out of control, God still knew what He was doing. I believe the Lord allowed Stephen and me to be in the others shoes for a short season. For me to better understand the true meaning of being blinded and deceived and for Stephen to better understand the pain I had felt. The Lord can bring health and healing to any marriage as long as you allow Him to do so. And most of the time, that means to sit back and do nothing but pray. Whatever stage of your stand you are in now, keep in mind God still has control over it and He will not fail you.
As for that waiver I had signed for Stephen to help me save the house from foreclosure, turns out that it was no good. You see, he needed to have it notarized and since it was not, they could not legally use it. The Lord stopped our divorce a total of 4 different times.
We have worked out now the issues of the past. The past still hurts and sometimes comes at us, but we have learned to take those thoughts captive and give them over to the Lord. We are now fully restored and beginning an online ministry to educate other standers on the good news that God can and does restore hurting marriages. It is still new as of this day in March 2006, but we know we were called for this and that it will grow. You can see our site at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Destination_Restoration/
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We pray today that the Lord guide you, comfort you and bring you great peace as you continue in your fight for marriage restoration. God bless always.
Stephen and Angelique Watters.